A Quick Ode to Your Inner Skeptic and Logical Mind:
Internal Family Systems Therapy introduces a way of seeing the mind that might feel unconventional—perhaps even a little “out there”. It invites us to rethink the dominant narrative about how we function and what helps us to sustainably shift out of what is no longer serving us. If your logical part is raising an eyebrow as you read about it below, that’s okay—it’s just doing its job! But if you’re willing, consider holding curiosity alongside any skepticism, you might just discover a deeper, more expansive way of understanding yourself.
What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
Building a deeper relationship with yourself
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a research-based therapy that has become well-known for its intuitive and experiential approach. It focuses on understanding and healing the whole person, without labeling or pathologizing any part of them.
The goal of IFS is to help you build a deeper, more authentic relationship with yourself. As an IFS therapist, I guide you in listening to your different “parts”—your inner voices, emotions, and patterns—with curiosity and compassion, not judgment or the assumption that something needs to change. By relating to these parts with a genuine intention to understand, you can address their needs and concerns more effectively, ultimately giving you more choice over how you respond to life.
This process not only heals old wounds but also fosters greater self-acceptance, inner security, and stronger, more meaningful connections with others. Together, we’ll create new patterns of trust and safety, both within yourself and in your relationships.
What Are "Parts"?
In IFS, we recognize that everyone has different "parts" or aspects of their personality that interact within their inner world. These parts develop from our experiences; having multiple “parts” is a natural and adaptive part of being human.
Think of these parts like members of an internal family, each with its own role, experiences, and perspective. You may already be familiar with your inner dialogue, but not realize that these voices represent distinct parts of yourself. Without recognizing these parts uniquely, we can feel stuck in cycles of reactive behavior or torn between conflicting beliefs and emotions. For example, one part might act as your Inner Critic, pushing for perfection, while another part feels overwhelmed and believes it’s doing the best it can. When these parts have different needs or goals, it can lead to inner conflict, which often results in anxiety, depression, or trauma-related reactions.
It's important to understand that none of our parts are “bad”—they’re just trying to protect us. Even if the impact of their behavior is frustrating or hurtful, their intentions are always good. They’re doing the best they can with the knowledge and resources they have. This is why IFS is non-pathologizing. Rather than asking, "Why can’t you stop this behavior?" IFS gently asks, "What part of you is driving these actions? What is it trying to protect? What experiences shaped it?
The IFS approach draws from several evidence-based modalities, including Narrative Therapy, Somatic (body-based) techniques, Creative methods, and Attachment-Based and Relational Therapy approaches. The sections below explain how IFS integrates these approaches to create a holistic healing experience, attuned to the unique needs of each part of you.
Weaving Your Inner Story: Integrating Narrative Therapy and Meaning-Making in IFS
Our brains are wired for storytelling—it’s how we make sense of the world. We naturally look for patterns and connections, turning scattered experiences into meaningful narratives that bring a sense of order and predictability.
On a deeper level, storytelling helps us process emotions. Putting words to a difficult experience can feel like a relief, giving us a way to organize and make sense of our pain.
The stories we tell about our past, struggles, and growth also shape our identity. They provide a sense of stability, helping us feel grounded—even if those stories aren’t entirely complete.
In Internal Family Systems Therapy, you’ll learn to listen to the unique "story" each part holds, approaching them with curiosity and compassion. This process opens up new insights and perspectives. By relating to each part in this way, you can address its needs more effectively, helping it stop taking over your emotions or behaviors in extreme ways. For example, you might discover that a part of you expressing intense anger is reacting to unmet needs or past wounds. By working with this part, you can learn to speak for the anger rather than reacting from it, meeting its needs in more constructive ways.
Embracing Emotion: Integrating Somatic and Creative Techniques in IFS
One of the most transformative aspects of IFS is its ability to help you connect with, process, and release emotions in ways that traditional talk therapy may not fully reach. By combining somatic (body-based), creative, and experiential techniques, you can gain deeper insights that transcend verbal expression. These methods provide new perspectives and more intuitive ways to connect with your inner parts, allowing you to feel your emotions fully and safely. This reduces their overwhelming impact and helps to create lasting changes in how you experience them in the future.
Somatic Techniques
IFS understands that emotions and trauma are often stored in the body, creating physical sensations, qualities, and signals that offer valuable insights into difficult experiences. Rather than paying attention to these body-based cues, we often ignore or suppress them, relying on logic and problem-solving to make sense of uncomfortable sensations, hoping this will bring relief. Through somatic techniques like mindfulness, body awareness, and breathwork, you'll learn to approach these sensations with openness and curiosity, rather than analyzing or trying to control them. This process helps uncover the stories behind these sensations, allowing you to access the wisdom they hold. This embodied approach helps release stored tension and trauma, bringing clarity to their origins and reducing inner reactivity, tension, and conflict.
Creative Techniques
Creative techniques like art, journaling, metaphor and symbolism, and mental imagery allow you to engage with your parts in ways that deepen emotional exploration and foster new insights. For example, using art to represent a part can help externalize and clarify its feelings or needs, while journaling can provide a space for dialogue from a specific part or between parts. Metaphor, symbolism, and mental imagery tap into the subconscious, offering a richer understanding of your internal experiences that may be hard to put into words.
Healing Through Attachment-Based and Relational Therapy Approaches
As an attachment-based therapist using an IFS lens, I believe one of our most profound needs is to feel truly seen, understood, and connected. When parts of us carry unmet emotional needs—often rooted in relational ruptures from early life experiences—it can feel difficult to trust, express our needs, or form deep, meaningful connections. To protect ourselves and maintain relationships, parts of us may disconnect from our authentic selves. While these adaptations were wisely created with care, they can make it harder to fully engage with others or trust ourselves in the present. For instance, a part of you that learned to hide your emotions to avoid conflict may suppress your feelings or withdraw, making it challenging to communicate openly and connect authentically in relationships.
Healing occurs through connection, not isolation. Rebuilding trust, autonomy, and intimacy—first within yourself and then with others—is key to healing in IFS therapy. This approach helps nurture an “inner attachment” with your parts, allowing you to build a sturdy foundation relationally within yourself. We’ll explore how early experiences shaped your inner world and the patterns that developed, reconnecting with the parts of you impacted by unmet needs and working to address those needs in the present.
Ultimately, healing in IFS happens through compassionate, relational experiences—with yourself and others—that offer the support and understanding that may have been missing in the past, helping you reconnect with your true self and build deeper, more fulfilling relationships.